Our Pregnancy Story

So, it's been a while since blogging but reading a few blogs and having a few snow days has given me the inspiration to get back into it! Plus, looking back, I love that you can see the progress of our year and I don't want to forget any of this year... the year our baby will arrive!!

Our pregnancy story really started back in July although I didn't get pregnant until October.  All last year I had told Brandon that I really wanted to start trying to have a baby in July (that way we would have an April baby and I could take my 8 weeks of leave from school and then spend the whole summer with our baby) Although it didn't work out quite that way, we still started trying in July - my birthday to be exact.  We were both so excited and nervous to be thinking that we could be pregnant!

Enter July 20th - I couldn't hardly wait until I could take a test so I took one probably a little too early - but I knew I could see a faint line. Could we already be pregnant? I waited a couple days - the line got a little darker and we just knew we were already pregnant! It was the most exciting and scary thing ever.  I was ecstatic and Brandon was too. Of course - being a first time pregnant lady - I decided that I just had to tell just a couple people (my sister and a few days later my parents) and then Brandon's parents were coming a few days later to visit and I told Brandon "I want to tell them in person... should we do it now or wait until August?" and we decided to go ahead and tell them and they were ecstatic too.

A couple days later I knew something was wrong and called the nurse.  She said it could be an early pregnancy that just didn't last. (Lots of reasons can cause the pregnancy to end on its own very early - hence most people waiting until 12 weeks to announce pregnancies). So I took another pregnancy test and it confirmed that we had a very early miscarriage. I was so heartbroken. I mean - I had literally only known about the baby for a week but all my hopes were crushed and my perfect April 1st due date just went down the drain. Not only that - but we had to tell our family that we were not in fact pregnant any more and it was just really sad. I was so ready to be pregnant. It was also hard cause it's not something you want to tell people - you just hold it inside and pretend it never happened. I mean - if I wouldn't have insisted on taking a test so early in the first place - would I have even known about this baby starting to grow inside me? And plus - some people lose babies way later on - when they know the sex and they've told everyone and all that. That's way worse.  But it was still a very real loss for me.

After that I pulled myself together and decided to be thankful that at least I knew that I could get pregnant. And we tried again. When it happened again at the end of August - positive test and then a negative test - I knew something was up. This shouldn't be happening and I can't bear it happening over and over. September came with no positive test and at least it didn't bring the disappointment of losing another baby.  When October came - I had my annual visit with my midwife and I told her what had been happening. She said she thought it was a hormonal thing and put me on progesterone and we kept trying.

The next month - PREGNANT!! This time - we were hesitant to be excited and tell anyone but I really trusted that God was answering prayers.  Little did I realize how much God had been building my faith to trust in Him.  Yes, I still had to overcome the fear of losing another baby, but during this time I did trust that God knew me best and knew our baby best and that God was going to do what was ultimately His plan anyway.  The unrelenting and unnecessary worry was fading.

Today is February 2, 2013 and I am officially 15.5 weeks. We have seen our baby and heard his/her healthy heartbeat and I can't help but look back and be so thankful.  God is faithful even when we don't understand His ways.  July 25th is the perfect due date for us in ways that we probably don't even know.  I would probably be freaking out about an April 1st due date while we're still trying to settle into our house. I know His timing is perfect and even though it completely sucked to have to go through losing some really early babies I'm glad that it all worked out the way it did. I'm more grateful now for this healthy person inside of me than maybe I would be. And I'm thankful for the people around us who walked with us through it.