Letters to my Boys

Brandon,
You are the most amazing daddy. Thank you for all your encouragement during this pregnancy. From the moment we found out about anti-E you have been reassuring and supportive. Thank you for praying with me and easing my fears. Thank you especially for the last few weeks where you've made yourself more available than ever - even in a season where you are juggling so much. I am so proud of you. You are a wonderful husband, a wonderful daddy, a wonderful friend, a wonderful real estate agent. I could not love you more. I can't wait to start this next chapter with you.

Leslie

Grayson,

I can't believe you are becoming a big brother. It only seems like yesterday they put you in my arms. I fall in love with you more every day. Your giggles and smiles, the way you repeat everything, even your feisty independence. You amaze me at the things you remember and how smart you are. I know things will change but I know you will love being a big brother. I couldn't imagine life without my little sister and I know you will be the same. Thanks for making me a mommy and for telling me that you love me. You will always be my baby. I love you.

Mommy

Bennett,

I can't believe that I will meet your sweet face so soon. You are already so loved. You have been so active this pregnancy and it reassures me that you are strong and ready to meet us. You are going to be a part of a family that is on-the-go and fun and busy and I hope you are ready for it! We can't wait to watch you grow and learn the things that make you special. We love you so much!
Mommy

Countdown to Bennett: 11 days

I will meet my second son in 11 days. In 11 days I will not be pregnant. In 11 days our lives will change. There will be some things I will miss about being pregnant and some things I won't and there are some things I'm looking forward to and some things that I'm dreading a little because I remember it from last time. It's all pulling me in different directions. I am so excited to meet Bennett yet I don't want to wish away these last 11 days of our family of 3. So I'm stretching out every moment by being thankful for them and being honest about the things I will miss and the things I won't - the things I'm looking forward to and those I am not. Here are a few of them:

I will miss:
- feeling Bennett kick and the constant hiccups
- an excuse to have a big belly
- the "me-time" hours that I have between when G goes to bed and when I go to bed

I will not miss:
- waking up to pee 2 or 3 times a night
- counting my carbs and checking my blood sugar
- the acne on my back
- swollen feet and calves
- the extra weight
- driving to Hickory every two weeks

I am looking forward to:
- seeing Bennett's sweet face and KNOWING he is healthy
- wearing my normal clothes (and shoes!)
- our family and friends coming to meet Bennett
- babywearing our sweet boy
- nursing
- enjoying an entire summer with all three of my boys

I am not looking forward to:
- the month-or-two-long period
- the soreness that is going to come from surgery and starting to nurse again
- pumping
- the lack of sleep
- not being able to pick grayson up

Daddy

I just have to take a moment to say how much I love my husband. I loved him before but seeing him grow as a daddy just makes me love him all the more. Brandon is so good with our boy. He started out not knowing anything about babies and kids but now Grayson is almost two and there could not be a more perfect daddy for him.

Brandon is so silly and fun. He keeps me from being smothering in my protectiveness. He wrestles Grayson and has him flipping upside down while letting all his little giggles out. He plays outside for hours with Grayson and has him doing all the things he's doing - throwing wood on the fire, riding the four wheeler or the lawn mower, feeding the chickens, and digging in the dirt. Grayson is one lucky little boy and I am one lucky mommy. We love daddy.

Only 4 weeks

I found out earlier this week that my doctors in Hickory and my doctors in Boone definitely want me to deliver at 37 weeks. Since I requested that Dr. Womack do my c-section (since she did my first and she's awesome) I thought I would have to wait until her on-call day the week after I turned 37 weeks but i also knew that the next week was when Carrington (my favorite midwife) was not going to be in Boone.

I told Carrington a while back that it looked like the timing might be off and she told me it would be fine if she wasn't there and although I guess that's true - she's just been there through it all: through my first few very early miscarriages, my pregnancy with grayson, the hours of labor and even through the unexpected c-section, losing a baby last spring,  getting pregnant again, telling me that i have this anti-E thing but that we'd figure it out together, and now - Bennett is almost here and I just wanted her there.

So they call me and say that I will deliver at 37 weeks - to the day. that means a friday. and they say that another doctor is on call but is there someone that i would like to request. and of course I say dr. womack and she says she'll check to see if she can do that. and low and behold - she calls back an hour later confirming that dr. womack will do the c-section and that carrington will be there to assist!! Praise! I'm so excited.

So the big day is coming. May 29th. Less than four weeks now. That's four weekends. 27 days. I'm just amazed at how fast it came. They chopped off 3 weeks. Not a June 19th baby. Not even a June baby. A May baby. I'm so excited and nervous.

This weekend has been perfect. The perfect time with our family of three. Breakfast at Melanie's, time with friends, lots of playing outside. I'm so thankful.

I know the next four weeks are going to fly by. There are just so many things going on in may: mother's day, my baby brunch celebration, hopefully a trip to charlotte for some relaxing by the pool, our 5th anniversary...
and then there's all the stuff that has to be done at school: math assessments, reading assessments, report cards, field trips.

It all makes me so excited. But I want to take it all in. Every moment. Every kick in my belly, every moment with just me and Grayson, the long stretches of sleep (although they pretty much always include a potty break).

Pray for us. Pray that Bennett's every cell is ready and developed for May 29th. Pray that he doesn't need a thing when he's born except to be in my arms and nurse. Pray that my body handles surgery well and recovers quickly. Pray that Grayson knows how much he is loved even during a time where I'm not able to pick him up or give him undivided attention. Less than four weeks until we're a family of four!