Radical January

Well - Brandon and I decided to do some crazy things for the month of January in hopes that we will start to form some healthy habits that will last through the rest of 2018. Really they're probably not that crazy but I guess that part is up for debate. It started with a decision to do Whole 30 and then we just kept adding to the list. Part of our plan is doing a podcast to document the month so if you want to keep up with us and find out about our plan you can listen here!

I love the new year. I love feeling like you get a fresh start, a clean slate. I know in reality we have this OVER and OVER every day in Jesus but something about the calendar just sparks a desire in me for change and newness. It's fun to reflect on all the good (and not so good) of 2017 and be intentional about what needs to look different in 2018. Sometimes, though, New Year's Resolutions are overwhelming. 365 days is a long time to commit to something. That's one reason that I'm excited about our January goals. Anyone can do something for 30 days right? or several somethings? I guess we will see! Day 1 starts tomorrow :)

Fruit Check

All weekend the idea of checking our fruit kept coming up: in conversations with each other, with our friends, and even in church. Yesterday, Brandon was talking to me and one of my best friends who was at our house this weekend and was telling us that he thinks he needs to take a break from Facebook. As I listened to the conversation, I really felt convicted that I needed to take a break too.

At this point I probably don't even know all the negative effects of Facebook. I feel like there are many: anxiety, fear, comparing what I have to others, stirring the desires to want and love things of this world, time wasting when I could be doing productive things. I'm sure there are more negatives and probably also some positives in the mix but then I think of this question - Does it produce fruit? Does it draw me closer to people? Does it point those people to Jesus? Would I produce more fruit if I weren't spending so much time on Facebook? The fruit I'm speaking of comes from the Word  - Galations 5:22-23 - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. So... fruit check. Does spending time on Facebook create more love, joy, peace, etc in my life? Right now it feels like no. I do LOVE scrolling. I love being exposed to things I may miss out on if I'm not scrolling. But then what am I missing when I am? 

Brandon said yesterday he read somewhere that if someone discovered a drug that caused you to look at your hand all day - it would be illegal. No one would want to get addicted to a drug that caused you to miss out on the things around you. Right now Facebook is such a habit (and addiction) that I don't even know what I'm missing.  I'm guessing I'm missing moments with my kids, moments with my husband, blog posts and journaling, playing my guitar and worshiping and reading more often, more text messages and phone calls and real conversations with people. 

So - I've decided to deactivate my Facebook. At first I thought maybe I would just delete the app off of my phone but I really just feel like I need to get rid of the space altogether. If you need my number you can e-mail me - old school right? leslie.sheppard.hall@gmail.com. I am going to keep instagram mostly because right now it's like my kid's digital baby book. Also - I do think the things I follow are more filtered on instagram and I have some awesome relationships with people that I never would have had if we didn't keep in touch on instagram. I also follow many pastors and leaders and friends that DO encourage and challenge me to walk more closely with Jesus. So feel free to follow me @leslieshall if you don't want to miss out on the cutest three boys I know. I may try to limit my time on instagram to a certain time of day... but more thoughts on that later.

I feel like I've thought about this before and thought - I could never do that or Why would I want to do that? or I can just stop being on Facebook so much. But in the end this isn't necessarily cutting off something that's inherently bad - it's being intentional about filling my life with more of the eternal things.  Most things that are worth doing are in fact hard. If you never challenge yourself to do hard things, then what are you missing out on?  I just want more Jesus and more of the Word. So when you see me - ask me about it. Feel free to keep me accountable. 

I'm going to try to follow up here in the next few weeks.  Maybe I'll use Facebook again one day or maybe I won't. But for now I'm believing that God's got some awesome things to show me. 

 

Tucker Jeremiah Birth Story

I wish I would've written this three weeks ago. Honestly it feels like Tucker has been here for months now and his birth day is a fading memory. BUT - I know if I don't get it down now, it will be even worse.

We were scheduled to have Tucker on November 9th about a month beforehand. I kept wondering if he would come sooner but despite what seemed like constant (but inconsistent) contractions, labor never got fully going.  I really didn't want him to come sooner because I had packed in so much in the days leading up to his birth and I still wanted to do it all - from taking the big boys trick or treating in the dorms to making crockpot meals with friends two days before he arrived. I also really wanted all of our family to be able to make it and to have the whole rest of the weekend with them like planned.

So Tuesday night - our family arrived in town and we made plans for them to bring the boys the next morning.  I made sure everything was packed into the car, took my shower before bed and set my alarm. I woke up a ton that night - checking to see if it was time yet and finally at 4:30 I got out of bed. I washed my hair, put makeup on, packed the last of my toiletries and we left the house around 5:30 (We were supposed to be there at 5:45).

On arrival - we checked in and headed up to the birthing center.  They gave me a gown to change into and we started the slow process of getting ready. First they hooked me up to a contraction and heart rate monitor and I was really having some decent contractions! Then they came to start my IV line.  I dreaded this part as I remember how much it hurt with Bennett and of course - it was terrible again - except this time she missed and had to pull it all back out and have someone else come and do it all over again.  Luckily the second nurse got it in and that was over with.  During this hour and a half or so - things were pretty slow. People in and out bringing things, the anesthesiologist checking in and me filling out paperwork for the birth certificate - but mostly just waiting.

Finally around 7:30 Dr. Womack came in and chatted for a few minutes and then things started moving faster. Brandon got suited up and I was wheeled into surgery.  I moved over to the operating table and sat up so they could do my spinal.  Brandon stood in front of me and this was by far the worst part of the day.  I must've been sitting on a crack in the bed because my body was just slightly tilted and the anesthesiologist could not get the spinal to go in correctly.  I felt this horrible twinge down my left leg several times and was basically in a panic. It was such an awful and weird sensation. I kinda cried out and she told me it was ok but kept trying. After a minute of not being able to get it to work she took the whole thing out and decided to start over. She gave me a minute to get settled cause I really thought I was going to throw up, and I told her I thought I needed to move over to be straighter. She gave me another numbing shot and tried again and this time it worked! Hallelujah! It was the worst 5 minutes ever but I was just so thankful it was done. Immediately my legs started getting heavy and numb and they laid me down and started prepping me.

I felt lots of pulling and tugging - this was all familiar so I felt pretty calm about it all.  I was just thankful this was the last time I would be doing it. It seemed like it took forever for them to get to him but finally Dr. Womack said "Man - I can see all his hair through the sac" A few minutes later at 8:22 am they pulled him out and I heard him cry. They kept saying he looked perfect and so cute and I was just overcome with relief.  I had been so worried since I hadn't seen him since my 20 week ultrasound that something would be wrong or my gestational diabetes would have caused him some kind of harm. But he was here and he was perfect.  I got to watch as they cleaned him up and tears just rolled down my face.  He was 6 lb 12 oz and 19 inches long.  Then they brought him to me and I just held him forever. Unlike with Bennett - they just let me hold and hold and hold him and I just kissed and stroked his sweet little face.  We took a couple pics and finally I told Brandon he could take him because it was kind of awkward holding him with all the wires and me laid flat on the table. Brandon and the nurses went ahead and took him out to the nursery so they could show him off to all of our family while they finished my surgery.

When surgery was finally complete I was taken back to my room and it wasn't too long before they brought Tucker back to me and he got to nurse.  It really couldn't have gone much better other than the spinal.  Our parents sent us some breakfast and then went to go get breakfast for themselves and give us time to get settled. I really just couldn't wait to show him off to the boys. At some point the pediatrician came and said he looked great and soon after that our big boys arrived.  Grayson immediately came over and wanted to see Tucker. Then we put both the big boys in the bed next to me and Grayson held Tucker. You could just tell he was so proud to get to hold him. It just felt right. Finally a family of five.

Letters to my boys on Tucker's birthday

Happy Birthday Tucker. Today is the day. I can't believe it's finally here. The day our family is complete.

Tucker- we love you already and can't wait to meet you and kiss your sweet face. you are coming into a family that loves eachother and Jesus fiercely and we can't wait to guide and encourage you in all you do. No matter what - we love you so much!

Bennett- I can't believe you are going to be a big brother today. It seems like perfect timing as you are talking and gaining so much of your personality. Seeing you with Grayson just makes me more excited that you'll have another brother to build that kind of relationship. Thanks for being my snuggly, giggly one.  I pray you never feel forgotten as the middle child. I love you to pieces.

Grayson - my biggest but always my baby.  I'm so proud of you. You are smart and kind (as much as a 3 year old can be) and you make me smile all the time. You put life and joy and energy into everything you do. You are already an amazing big brother and I know Tucker will love you as much as Bennett does. Thanks for letting me hug and kiss you a million times a day. I love you so much.

Brandon - there is nothing that makes me prouder than seeing you be the amazing dad that you are. Thanks for always sharing your heart with me and continuing to guide our decisions so that we can be the best parents we can be. I wouldn't want to be on this crazy journey of raising 3 boys with anyone else. I love you. I love you. I love you. Let's do this 😘

The Perfect Summer

Where do I start? I just want to remember this summer. The perfect summer. I seriously am going into fall refreshed and excited about a new season. I don't have any regrets or things I wish I would've done. We played so hard and had so much good family and friend time. I just feel unbelievably blessed. God is so good.

Highlights of the summer:
**We moved into Jamie's house at the very end of May and celebrated Bennett's first birthday with friends and family in our new house. The space and the deck and the yard and the easy in-and-out has been such a blessing. Our tenants are awesome and it's awesome that we didn't have to move far.

**The boys were home with me and we had passes to Tweetsie, the children's playhouse and Blowing Rock pool. So we stayed at home all day maybe 2 days this summer and instead met friends wherever we could! We played hard most mornings and took long naps in the afternoon.

**In June we had friends from my mom facebook group come up and we met them for a day at Tweetsie. It was a perfect day spent with all our (almost) 3-year-olds and our families.

**Grayson took two weeks of swimming lessons with his friend, Addie Rose. Each morning I got to hang out and chat with my friend, Amy while the kids learned to blow bubbles and "reach and pull."

**We went fishing with Dad (Grandpa) and friends several times. The best trip was with Aunt Kirbi when everyone caught LOTS of fish and Grayson got to scoop them up with the net!

**We spent several Friday nights at Valle Crucis park for Music in the Valle with friends soaking up community and watching our boys play.

**Brandon and I got to go on a kid-free trip to Nashville in June for a couple days. We met up with old friends, drank lots of coffee and stayed in the cutest little bungalow.

**We went with family and friends to see Horn in the West. It rained and wasn't nearly as good as it used to be but it was still family time and Grayson did talk his grandpa into buying him a stuffed bear. (winning!)

**Brandon and I took Grayson to see his first movie in Ashe County ($4 matinee for the win) - we saw Finding Dory and he loved it.

**We went to the beach over and over: We went to Holden for long weekends in both June and July and spent time with Brandon's family. We went out on the boat, ate ice cream from Beaches n Cream and had slushies from Sunset Slush. We spent a morning with Boone friends on the beach and Sunday evenings under the bridge listening to music! We played in the pool daily and Brandon's parents kept the boys a couple times so Brandon and I could have walks on the beaches together.

**We had a couple evenings with friends and a firepit.  Nothing better than s'mores, good conversation, and people you love.

**July 4th weekend was filled with friends and family and fireworks and parades and good food at Bethel Blast. We wore a ton of red, white and blue and ate way too much candy from the parades.

**We went to Ocean Isle with my family in July for a week. We had the perfect condo with an amazing view - coffee on the porch every morning and family swims most evenings. I actually read a whole book. We rode the ferry over for music and fireworks and Britt's Donuts and we had the most amazing weather all week. It was a dream for us all to have a beach week together!

**In July we celebrated Grayson turning 3 with our families.  We decided not to have a big birthday party but just to celebrate with presents and a big dinner at home. And it was perfect. Grayson ate more cake over the course of a week than he should have and he loved telling people that he is now 3!

**Also in July we spent a week of evenings at Brushy Fork's Vacation Bible School. I helped with the 3-4 year old class and it was a week of fun (and exhaustion). Grayson loved going each night and I loved seeing all those kids learning about Jesus and serving one another. The music teachers even found Grayson a song about God making the dinosaurs and it was a huge hit with all the kids!

**Aunt Christi came up for a few visits and Grayson loved having her "live with us."  We even talked Aunt Megan into driving up for a sleepover at the Queen Street house.

**Now, here I am, sitting at the lake with some of my best friends, on our last trip before we get back into the routine of work, and I am overwhelmed with how blessed I am. We were joking sitting on this giant porch with a breeze and a view of the lake that we could almost just cry at how perfect it is. I am so thankful to my husband and parents for making it easy for me to leave the boys and come play for a few days. I woke up this morning, spent time with Jesus, drank coffee, jogged (and walked) 3 miles and got to sit down to type this up. Today we will ride on a boat and talk about kids and school and Jesus. We will laugh and cook amazing food like barbecue chicken and s'more dip.  We will soak up the sun and each other. And all I can think over and over is how blessed I am.

I am blessed that I was able to keep my kids home for the summer and use the money from daycare to play and make memories with my family. I am blessed to have friends and family that love us and will spend time with us. It's not necessarily about the things but about the time. I am so thankful for the gift of time I was given this summer.

Being a teacher is definitely hard work and it really doesn't pay all that well but it really does give the gift of time. I had a whole summer (and I will again.) I will have breaks and snow days and I get off at 3:10 every day. Even if I may not leave at that time every day - I still have the gift of my evenings with my boys. And in two short years Grayson will be at school with me. So today I am even thankful for my job as a teacher and the kids that I will get to love in a couple weeks.

Today, I put aside the things I could be complaining about. Just because I had a "perfect summer" doesn't mean that my life is perfect. Nor does it mean I will always be feeling the good emotions of a fun weekend with friends and an awesome summer. Brandon and I are praying hard believing for some things in our life and feel overwhelmed sometimes. We are in a season of transition and sometimes it brings sadness but we trust in a God who works all things for our good. We have seen his faithfulness and will trust Him in all things. And instead of dwelling on the hard - I will praise Him today for all He has blessed me with - especially for the perfect summer and these last few perfect days on the lake.

Transitions

The past couple weeks have included many changes for our boys and I don't want to forget them....

One thing is that we started giving Bennett some formula. I made it one month longer with Bennett than Grayson without supplementing and for that I am grateful. The second time around I had less guilt with giving him formula. It was just a necessity and I am grateful that formula exists. Also - I am very OVER pumping and nursing. I love that I have been able to do it and I am amazed at the mother's who continue to selflessly and sacrificially do all the things necessary to keep their supply up - but I just don't really want to. It's stressful and it doesn't make me the best mom I can be. This is where I have to add that my friends in my facebook mom group are the most wonderful people in the entire world and remind me of these kinds of things when I'm feeling guilty...

Anyways - Bennett is now eating some formula and we are trying to stuff him full of baby food as well because he has dropped below his growth curve. I think it is partly because I put off supplementing with formula even when my supply was tanking. He was 14 lb 3 oz at his 6 month appointment that actually happened on his 7 month birthday.  (He should've been 15.5 lbs) But thankfully, aside from a little gassiness, he has adjusted well and is still the happiest, sweetest, cutest thing that ever lived and I am sure that he will continue to grow healthily.

As for Grayson - he has had an eventful couple of weeks as well: giving up the paci and potty training. We started by giving the paci to Santa on Christmas Eve. My mom had said that was what I did at two and a half so we just put it in his mind a few weeks before Christmas that he should give it to Santa along with including it in his video from Santa.  When Christmas Eve came, we left out milk and a cookie along with a note explaining that he was giving up his paci and was hoping for some presents on Christmas morning. He was a little upset when we put him to bed and cried for his paci for a few minutes. I also think he was a little nervous about Santa actually coming but he finally went to sleep and aside from sticking Bennett's in his mouth for a hot second on Christmas morning - he has been paci free ever since. I am thankful that it wasn't that hard of a transition!

Potty training has been a little slower of a process. We have done lots of naked butt time and some time with his new underwear. He does VERY well with peeing on the potty when we tell him to go but he still doesn't really know to go to the potty when he FEELS it coming. He did pretty good the first few days but yesterday he peed in the floor several times.  We have even had a couple poops on the potty when we see him start to get in position and we rush him to the potty but it is still very much us telling him to go at least once every hour if not more. So - at least we've gotten off to a start and hopefully in a few weeks I will be able to say that we are using fewer and fewer pullups!! I would love to only be diapering one kid.

All in all - life is so good. It's busy and wonderful and these are the moments I don't want to rush or forget.

Funny things Grayson Says 2.5

***
I put him to sleep at our friends' house on New Year's Eve around 9:30 pm. I told Brandon to go check on him about 5 minutes later. Brandon came back and said this was their conversation

Brandon: Are you OK Bud?
Grayson: My sad.
Brandon: Why are you sad?
Grayson: That mommy hurt my feelings.

(That mommy being me - just stab a knife in my heart. How does he even know how to communicate hurt feelings???)

***
Brandon, Grayson, my friends Kirbi and Christi, and I were all sitting in our living room. I had spent the night before away with the girls and Grayson had just told me that he slept in "daddy's bed" while I was away.

Me: You got to sleep in daddy's bed?
Grayson: Ya!! (very excitedly)
Me: Guess who gets to sleep in daddy's bed tonight? (I am implying that I get to sleep in the big bed and not him...)
Grayson: (Looking around the room...) Aunt Christi sleep in daddy's bed?

Needless to say... we all died laughing.

***
In the car after church

Grayson: That's what it's about. (very seriously)
Brandon: What?
Grayson: That's what it's about!
Brandon: What is it about?
Grayson; The Hokie Pokie!

***
Grayson saw two people kissing on TV...
Grayson: That his mommy!


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